Friday, April 28, 2006

23 Years.

That's how long my Dad and Stepmother have been married. But they won't be adding any more years to that tally. It's a long time to throw away. I love them both, so do my children, but this decision will affect more people than just them. Things are going to be different. We were lucky to see them twice a year. Now I just don't know. It will be very hard to maintain the same relationship with them that we've had so far. My daughter cried pitifully when she learned that they were separating. I have no idea how to explain it to her. She's so one she loves can do any wrong.

Dammit! Divorce seems so selfish! You want to force them to work things out. You have a tendency to assume that they haven't done all they can. Maybe they missed something. Maybe they just didn't try hard enough. They must have worked harder on the facade that everyone saw than they did on the marriage. It stunned us. We had no idea they were even having problems. They seemed happy. It's all so discouraging for someone who has had marital problems of their own and has literally moved mountains to keep it together. They say divorce begets divorce. If so, I've got some serious odds to beat. Two parents, and now three divorces between them. It's none of my business but it angers the hell out of me.

I worry about my little sister. She's just a little older than my son and not much older than I was when my parents divorced. It's such a vulnerable age. My stepmother seems to be holding up better than my Dad as best as I can tell. I'm glad she's strong. Her heart is just as dear to me as my Dad's but I do worry about him. He's not like me. He bottles everything up. He always has. Much of what goes in, stays in. Where he puts it, I have no idea but he's got to be bursting at the seams. He's had some heart problems and I know this has got to be devastating to him.

For those of you who pray, please say a little prayer for them. I have no idea what to even pray for. Everything seems beyond repair now so mending the relationship is not going to happen. They both want this and are not at all flexible. I guess I'll just pray for God's will to be done but I can't see that this is in his will. Perhaps I'll pray that he comfort them and that their scarred hearts will somehow remain soft enough for him to move upon. But that seems contradictory, I'm not sure I want them to be "comfortable" or at peace with this decision. How do you pray for someone who is making a decision that you believe to be out of the will of God? What do you pray? My sister will be easy to pray for. She's an innocent victim. But what of my parents?