Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Why blog?

I'm sick today. I have been fighting the fever crud for a couple days now and because I've slept on and off all day, I cannot force myself to sleep now. So I sit, and I blog. As I sit here, I've come to realize that this has begun to take up a great deal of my time. I never knew I liked writing so much. I never knew that it could be this least I still see it that way. So much of what I would stumble over and screw up if it came from my pie hole, comes out just right when I take the time to write it down. I've never been especially good at writing. Composition was boring in school and therefore, received as little attention from me as possible. I regret that. I think I would have enjoyed then too...perhaps not as much as today, for today I have a great deal of life experience to write about. But if I'd enjoyed it then, how much more so would I enjoy it today? big deal, just a thought.

I got started in writing because I realized that, oddly enough, most people are not interested in my well contrived plans and opinions on a better world for all. I have some good and I mean Very Good friends who know me and for some strange reason, love me anyway. They know of my opinions and of my tendency to be "abrasive" when sharing those opinions with others. (This I've prayed about.) So I started a daily journal on the computer to sort of organize my thoughts and opinions of the day.... What happened to me? Why? What could I have done about it?...etc. It was password blocked so no one could read it, so I was my only audience. Yet I found that getting the point across, even to myself, wasn't good enough. I wanted it to sound better. I wanted it to flow smoother and to not only make the point but pile drive it deep. So I began to backspace and spell chek, rewrite and cutback.....edit, edit, edit. Pretty soon.....yeah, that looks pretty good. I began to ask myself questions like, "Man, what if I'd had my thoughts together enough to tell them to somebody else?

So if it is healthy to write to myself, how much healthier would it be to write to others? So here I am. Six months and two blogs later and I've got 126 full length articles on what Jason thinks about that. Not bad, I think. Still, no one really gives a crap. But there are those who care enough to read. Those regulars, you begin to care about in a certain way. We talk about more in depth stuff with each other than most friends ever do. Kinda like freinds ourselves. I don't know, but you begin to wonder about the other...if that "thing" has cleared itself up or if that other "thing' came through for them. Sure sounds like friendship to me.

I'll have to keep and eye on this thing. Though I do enjoy it so, I have a life....filled with people whom I love. They seem to understand this part of me. But I'd like to throw the ball more or go to the park. I want my kids to remember a Dad who fulfilled their needs....not just his own. I don't think it's come to that, but I don't want it to either.

What got you to start blogging? Do you find it healthy? Do you think you've become a blog-o-holic? Do you find that because your so good at analyzing your sentence structure, and editing your thoughts that you've learned to better organize your thoughts before you speak, and thus speak more clearly and concisely? In other words, are you better at communicating verbally since you began blogging?...the same?....worse?