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- Me---"9-1-1"
- Him---"Yeah, I need a AMMULAYNCE to _______Ave, Apt 217.
- Me---"OK, My partner's getting an AMBULANCE headed that way while we're talking, but I need to ask you a few questions OK?"
- Him---"Uh huh."
- Me---"What's a phone number where I can reach you if we're disconnected?"
- Him---(give's number)
- Me---"What's your name?"
- Him---"My name? Uhhhh....Uhhhh....Uhhh...my name is Uhhhh...Tony, man." (yeah, right)
- Me---"OK......TONY, who needs the ambulance?"
- Him---"My....uhhhh.....ummm uhhh, My girl (long pause) friend."
- Me---"And why does your girl (long pause) friend need to go to the hospital?
- Him---"Cuzzzz she got uhhhhh.....head pains, man.
- Me---"How long has she had this headache?"
- Him---"Not a headache, man.....HEAD PAINS! (Ohhhh...yeah, totally different from Headache, mmmm hmmm.)
- Me---"OK...How long?"
- Him---"Since about....like...June, man"
- Me---"JUNE?" (sigh)
- Me---"Is that her that I hear talking to you in the background?"
- Him---"Uh huh"
- Me---"How's she breathing?"
- Him---"Huh?"
- Me---(enunciating now) "HOW IS SHE BREATHING?"
- Him---"She breavin' like......in and out and stuff." (No shit, Einstein.)
- Me---(with the patience of Job and as if talking to a 3 year old) "Would you say she's breathing Good or breathing Bad?"
- Him---"She breevin' OK."
- Me---"Any numbness or paralysis?"
- Him---"Huh?"
- Me---"Numbness or Paralysis?
- Him---"She got head pains man."
- Me---(again with Job-like patience) "Sir....Tony...is she NUMB?"
- Him---"Naw, she SMART, man. What the hell kinda question is that?
- Me---(Big sigh).............................."your ambulance is on the way."
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