Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Caddies storming the pool! Oh my!

Everyone remembers this ‘80’s classic, right? …. RIGHT? Aw come on people? CADDYSHACK! The first one? The day the Caddies have been given access to the country club pool for exactly 15 minutes from 1pm to 1:15? They storm it like the bunch of inbred heathen invaders they are, terrorizing all of the prim and proper pool regulars. Misbehaving, cutting in line, breaking all the rules, making up their own. Just a general bunch of pests.
Ahhh, classic.

So “Why?” you might say? Why draw reference to such a seemingly insignificant Hollywood moment greater than 2 decades old? Well, my friend what comes around seemingly goes around. And I would submit to you that this is exactly what the Democrats, liberals, leftists, socialists and down right communitst have done to assert their authority as the keyholders of not only one, but all three houses. Dangling precariously out of reach of the few conservatives left who’ve not sold out to the dark side of the force only to have to hang themselves in the potter’s field later out of shame.

They’re just happy to be here, in so total control. They don’t know if it is, in fact, the “control” that provides some sense of satisfaction to their otherwise insatiable addiction to power so much as the twisting, writhing, conservatives so precariously positioned beneath their custom Italian leather wingtips. Both are so satisfying that they think they’ll just kick back their feet and stay a while!

What’s that you say?? Work to be done? Economy? War? Financial woes? Recession? (gasp even the great feared word … “depression?”) Oh my God, man! I just got here! It's party time! Time to see who sits in what chair and what color drapes get hung in what office.

Throw some money at it. That’ll work. Crack open the public coffers and pour out hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of Billions of dollars. Give it to whomever we owe the most favors to first, mind you but give it away. That’ll make the people happy. How will we pay for it all?? What?? Are you serious? Do you not know the answer to that question? Didn’t they teach you anything at Democrat elementary? Fist of all we'll blame it on the outgoing administration. Tell the American people we "inhereted" it all. Then, we’ll enjoy 8 years in the government, spending all we want on our pet projects. Robbing from the rich and “redistributing their wealth to the deadbeat poor”. Robbing equally from the military, social security and whatever pot we have the key to. We’ll load our union’s pockets with access to union only bids for infrastructure construction projects that probably aren't even needed in the first place but they'll make a whole lot of people happy because they got a $25 an hour job pushing a shovel and building a bridge to nowhere into the Everglades!

Then when it’s all over, we’ll lose the next election to the Republicans who will come in like a bunch of fuddy duddy, old farts, stamping out peoples celebratory cigars, and preaching of cut backs, tax cuts, and military strengthening. Real buncha party poopers those guys are. Pork and earmarks and pet project spending will be watched heavily but not cutback altogether and they will come up with a not so fun plan to bail us out of our spending spree. 8 years later, we’ll be back on the spring board ready to storm the pool again!! In the mean time we will have placed one or two new extremely liberal bench legislating Supreme Court Justices in office to ensure that Roe v. Wade stays firmly in place and we get a good start on whittling away that last boneheaded move they made about the second amendment! We'll be in good shape!

It’s a vicious circle, young grasshopper, but you too shall learn! That in the current state of affairs… one can’t live without the other. It’s the best kept secret in the beltway! Ha! Welcome to Washington! Want another Bahama Mama… ooh they’re great with those little umbrellas and that fruity little...