SCREW CINCO DE MAYO!

If I knew how to boycott it, I would. Don't eat Mexican, I guess. Freakin' ingrates! The last thing I want to do, in light of recent events, is celebrate some ridiculous Mexican Army victory. They beat the French! How hard is that?? Everyone's done that! It's nothing special. They probably surrendered anyway, so get over it! Or go celebrate it in Meh-hee-coh where it actually means more than some stupid 2 for 1 sale on burritos at Taco Bell!

The French came to town looking to collect on Mexico's outstanding debt. But instead, they got their asses handed to them and thus began a long tradition of Mexicans not paying their own way. Why change?? Welcome to America...you'll fit right in as you reap the benifits of my tax dollars! Hey Juan, lemme buy your kids an education! Or how bout just let me take care of that hospital bill for you, there, muchacho! Yeah, keep your national pride and fly that Mexican flag high...we're giving you permanent residency, buddy...that's right! All you gotta do is pop out a youngun' or two and you can stay......FER FREE! So come on over and start pro-creatin'!

I'm in a bad damned mood. Can you tell?