Thursday, May 11, 2006

"My baby daddy!"

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard those three freakin' words together in that order I'd be retired on my own island by now.

"Uh, yeah, my baby daddy over here startin' shit again and I ain't gonna take it no moe. So ya'll needs to send some polices (<--- I think that's more than one) over heah right now or somebody gone get they ass shot up in heah."

"Ma'am, who's that screaming in the back ground?" "Oh, that's my baby daddy."

"My baby daddy came up in my house and I got a restrainin' order so ya'll needs to come pick his ass up!"

"I need the police. I was at the stoe wit my baby daddy and my other baby daddy come up and start yellin' and cussin' and they out there now 'bout ta fight!"

"Uh, yeah....uh, ya'll locked up my baby daddy last night and I needs to see 'bout where I gotta go to bail him out."

"Can you tell me if my baby daddy got a warrant out for his arrest?"

We used to keep count, on my shift, of how many "my baby daddy's" we got in one day. Kind of like a contest of sorts, just to make it fun. One day, I won, hands down for a 9-1-1 call I took from a young lady in the middle of a disturbance. It went a little something like this:

"You need to get over here and get this "hoochie" out my damned house!" ...."My baby daddy other baby momma over here and she 'bout to get her ass whooped!"

Let's break that down, shall we. The father of her child has another child by another woman to whom she refers to as "my baby daddy other baby momma". I'm starting to wonder if all these "my baby daddy's" are the same guy! He's always some drunk thug who beats women and likes to fight. He's always got a warrant out for his arrest or some injunction preventing him from contacting his "baby momma!" It's never.."Oh my baby daddy is so sweeeet" or "Guess what my baby daddy gave me for our anniversary." My baby daddy is always an asshole! Whenever I hear the words "my baby daddy" I want to strangle someone. There was even a popular hip hop song a couple of years ago entitled "I ain't yo baby daddy"

Please stop the world now...I'd like to get off.