Knock knock knock......anyone home?

Where to begin… I just don’t know. I’ve had a full plate lately. It is amazing how the trivial minutia of life can so completely occupy one’s time. I’d love to tell you of the great adventures I’ve been on. I’d revel in the attention I might receive were I to tell you of the many dragons I’ve slain in the past few months. But it just isn’t so. I’ve no new stamps in my passport, no medals awarded, no battle scars or adventures to tell of. Only the drudgery of the everyday life of a working, middle class “Shmuckatelli” garnished with a few boring inconveniences.

Much has happened since I last visited the blogosphere. I do have many rants rattling around in my noggin. I actually wrote an entire post….well almost an entire post, on the recent assassination of the former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. I composed it in Microsoft Word, as I usually do before I cut and paste into Blogger. Then, as if by some divine intervention, the dreaded “blue screen of death” made an unwelcome appearance on my computer and completely wiped out about two hours worth of research and composition. I know I won’t get one, but I probably deserve an express ticket to Hell for the profanities I cast at this lifeless machine.

Convinced the planets were lined against me, I slithered back into my hole for a couple more weeks. Then I became “inspired” again when the good Reverend Race Pimp, Al Sharpton, reared his bigoted mug about the off hand Tiger Woods “lynching” comment by Golf Network anchorwoman, Kelly Tilghman. Again, I effortlessly pecked out a brilliant composition on the subject. However, before I had a chance to edit it the following day, I discovered to my horror, that Michelle Malkin had used the key I gave her in confidence to sneak into my residence, access my computer and blatantly plagiarize the contents of that file onto her own website! Really! (sigh)…No. In reality, I shouldn’t have taken that Lunesta and drank those beers before writing. I read what I had written the next day and I honestly have no clue what it was about. Spell and grammar check had turned nearly the entire document red and green. There wasn’t a coherent thought to be gleaned from the entire piece, though curiously enough it was quite lengthy.

So here I am. It’s been months and I have nothing to show for it. Thank you to all who have continued to visit and send your regards. I have come up for air and I have full intentions of posting a real, honest to goodness “rant” this week…one that addresses actual current events. It is to be chocked full of the usual colorful wit and humor to which you have all come to expect of yours truly. That is my plan. I was not struck with some terrible ailment while typing this post. No irresolvable technical difficulties befell me and I successfully plastered it to my website. I shall take that as a sign that God is going to let me blog again. Thank you all. And stay tuned.