Wednesday, May 17, 2006

(Sigh)....Alright.....for Hope.

Never been "tagged" before but here goes:

5 things in my car

  1. 4 OD green military ammo boxes. Yes, they have ammo in them. Dirt cheap from the pawn shop and you can't pick a better way to store ammo.
  2. My collapsable homemade target stand with plenty of cardboard target mounts. You never know when the opportunity to go to the range will come up. (Semper paratus)
  3. 8 matchbox cars...I told him to leave those at home.
  4. Unopened junk mail from March! Oh, there's the Water bill.
  5. A super bright L.E.D. flashing red visor light (left over from my firefighting days) It'll move alot of traffic out of your way. I never use it anymore but it's hardwired in and I'm too damned lazy to remove it.

5 things in my front right pocket (I have no purse, so Hope said "front right pocket")

  1. A crumpled receipt from Walmart for olives (the good kind imported from Greece and packed in olive oil...not that cheap crap from California packed in water) I had a craving.
  2. Blue lint
  3. 2 - 5's +
  4. 4 - 1's +
  5. 36 cents = $14.36 (sorry, had to break it down to come up with 5 things)

5 things in my closet

  1. 65 things that don't fit (That's a guess...a conservative one...there's probably more)
  2. 600 things that belong to my wife that don't fit (very conservative estimate)
  3. A very slow, very old Compaq Presario Desktop that for some reason, won't boot Windows '98 anymore.
  4. A $25 heat shield with ghost ring sights that was guaranteed to fit my shotgun....which does not fit my shotgun!
  5. The wire shelfing (I hate that stuff) on which all my stuff was hanging...on the floor, under which lies all my stuff. It's been there for months. I have no desire to attempt to clean it up. None of it fit anyway!

5 things in my refrigerator

  1. One 16 inch WalMart brand pizza that was cooked last weekend (now hard enough to chip concrete)
  2. 2 recycled plastic margarine bowls, one of which contains something black and furry (I'm afraid to open the other)
  3. 3 Corona Lights (Don't worry, tomorrow I'm going back to WalMart and will restock)
  4. 1/2 pan of my world famous baked ziti, penne pasta substituted for ziti...textured for more bite and better pasta (OK....maybe "world famous" is overstating it a little....more like...."regionally famous!")
  5. One very foul smelling jug of of unidentifiable juice of some sort ( I need to clean out my fridge....go clean your own and leave me alone!)

5 things in my head

  1. Multiple delusions of grandeur. (What I don't know won't hurt me.)
  2. Tens upon thousands of well formulated opinions (Strangely enough, none of them have been solicited yet.)
  3. Wit and charm, baby, tons and tons of wit and charm!
  4. Very fond memories of how great I once was (see item number 1) and several half concocted plans of how I shall remain great
  5. The nagging feeling that I've forgotten something...hmmmm